Refugee in search of a homeland

"I don't know what will happen to me. I am thinking about giving up my job here and looking for another one, but Mutter must be better first. It won't be easy for me to find something suitable. I just can't cope in my present job. Nienhagen is too much of a burden É"

Mutter had to stay in Hospital until January, but she was allowed home over Christmas. Her health had improved and she was quite optimistic that all would be okay. Another complication arose when Onkel Helmut, who was only visiting, broke his right arm on Christmas Eve, on the way to church. He had slipped on the icy road. He was admitted to the same hospital as Mutter, and they were able to visit each other, once Mutter got permission to get up.

Meanwhile I followed the invitation of Onkel Wilhelm Forstmann to spend Christmas in Dahlhausen with them. As I was travelling by train, my thoughts went back to previous Christmas celebrations, always amidst the family. This was to be the first time away from them, and I felt the loneliness and nostalgia nibbling away at my self-confidence. The dreadful unceretainty about my parents made things worse. But it was good to go to Dahlhausen again and to be there with relatives and to be able to talk things over with them. They too advised that I should urge my parents to come over to the west as soon as possible, for the number of refugees daily arriving in west Berlin was by then in the thousands. We all felt it could not go on like this for much longer. On 28 December I returned to Bremen.

Mutter wrote from Halberstadt on the 31.12.52:

"Our trip into the sanatorium has to take place in 3 weeks, but it is doubtful that he will get the permission from the Health Insurance then. Mally's mother had to cut short her stay at her sister's Grube quite suddenly. I wonder whether that was necessary. In my opinion a change of air would be most desirable. If the sanatorium does not work out, it would be nice to go at least to the Harz mountains."

I interpreted 'Health Insurance' as still being able to cross the border in Berlin. At least, I thought, they were aware of the urgency, if my interpretation was correct.

In my attempts to find a job for Vater I had written also to Herrn Rimpau, the former owner of Emersleben. He replied, dated 2.1.53, that he had heard from his cousin's husband, (Onkel Wilhelm von Beyme), that Vater's safety was in danger.

"I am urging you to try everything to get your parents out into the west, before the route via Berlin will be permanently closed."

He regretted very much that he had, only recently, engaged a new

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