Refugee in search of a homeland

hearing, but I did not have to appear in person. The case weighed heavily on my mind. What would happen to my plans to go to Australia if I were found guilty? And what would the fine be? I thought I had better double my efforts to go to Australia.

Back at the office a pleasant surprise was awaiting me. Jürgen Siemering wanted me to go on the trip which I had missed out because of the accident. He seemed to have enough confidence in me, which gave me some encouragement. This meant, however, that regrettably I couldn't attend the engagement party of Kurt and Helga.

This trip took me again to southern Germany. During the week I visited firms in Offenburg, Rottweil, Stuttgart, Augsburg, München, Kulmbach, Bamberg, Fulda and Frankfurt, making some sales of wool tops, but overall I was again disappointed.

Helga seemed to need someone to lean upon, and as Kurt was living in Neubeckum, she leaned on me. She had forgiven me the episode with the accident, and we did a lot of things together, like swimming, going to the pictures (which she loved), and of course the horse races. My only regret was that Helga didn't play tennis. As I loved playing tennis, I had to go there without her. By now I had met a lot of young people in the club, but I could only count Peter Spies as a close friend. Unfortunately he had gone to Lennep in May doing a similar course as I had done the year before. I was able to recommend him to some of my friends there and he was very grateful for that.

I knew his time in Germany was running out fast, as he was going to South Africa for Stucken & Co, leaving by ship on 8 August 1953. At our farewell we had promised each other to write regularly and to work towards our common long-term goal, to start our own wool buisiness.

At that time I was very tempted to follow Peter to South Africa, but the political situation there held me back. Apartheid and the treatment of the blacks was repulsive to me. I knew I could have never been happy in an environment like that.

Coming to this decision had taught me to become more aware politically. When the second free elections for the west German parliament were held on Sunday 6 September, I became far more critical of the programme of Adenauer and his Christian Democratic Union (CDU). He had written a 'personal' letter to all 'fellow country people' of Germany before the election, trusting for re-election on the good records of his government. It was written in a chatty style, asking people to look around in their homes and see for themselves, how much better off they were since the first election four years earlier. I couldn't agree with that. There were still many Germans living in very poor conditions, and for many of us former refugees, Germany had failed to become a Heimat, where we could feel accepted and strike new roots. But the majority of the German people didn't think so, for Adenauer was re-elected with an absolute majority.

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