Indonesia

*

Uli Mone, whom I had given some driving lessons to, asked Peter and me to participate in an important family affair. He wanted to marry his girl. To get the permission of her family, his family had to proceed in a prescribed way and put the question formally to her family. This seemed a strange custom to me. We first met at the home of Uli's family. Uli himself was not allowed to be part of this official 'asking ceremony'. First the strategy was discussed, who would make the opening speech, who would follow, and then they discussed how much they should offer as the bride price. I presume the reason for Peter and me to be there was to impress the bride's family, and perhaps to keep the bride price down. When the lengthy preliminary discussions had finished, we were ready to proceed to the bride's home. It was bright day light, but custom required that the procession be led by a person holding a lighted lamp. We were very formally received at the bride's home by the father, various uncles, and the village head man. All males, the same as in our party. Then the speeches were made, each side took its turn, and when that part was over, the haggling about the bride price started. In the old days this was usually expressed in heads of cattle, but these families had moved into the modern era, where the price was money. The whole procedure took about three hours, at the end of which we all received a cup of tea and some cakes.

*

The Police in Timor came mainly from Java. They were charged to look after law and order, particularly after the coup of 1965, when thousands of ordinary citizens, also in Kupang, had been accused of being or siding with the communists, and had been ruthlessly executed, without trials. Since then the general population was very much in fear of the Police. On one of our walks to the city with the family we encountered an incident which illustrates attitudes on both sides, the Police and the people. As we were walking along on the road Ñ there were no footpaths in Kupang in those days Ñ a young man on a bicycle passed us. As he was approaching another group of pedestrians in front of us, a young girl suddenly jumped into his path, colliding with the bicycle and knocking both to the ground. In no time a Policeman was on hand. Without asking any questions he beat mercilessly into the bicycle rider with his truncheon. When we protested and said that he was innocent, his reply was, that he should be more careful.

This incident reminded me of an advice of Peter's, not to stop after an accident, as bystanders often get so enraged that they take the law into

357