Indonesia

a personal grudge against Chris. They wanted the matter to be brought before the Synod executive. Most others, though, were angry with me for mishandling such a delicate matter. Chris and I were both called before the executive, with Peter Stephens also in attendance. We both had to tell our side of the story. Chris brought in all sorts of issues, such as the difference in salaries and my easy way with the students, which I thought had nothing to do with overcharging the school. But the meeting didn't see it my way. They accused me of not handling the incident in accordance with Indonesian custom. I should have gone to see Chris personally and everything would have been rectified. But instead I made Chris lose face before others which is a grave mistake. Moreover, because of the great economical gap that existed between fraternal workers and indigenous people, the incident needed to be seen in the light of this great disadvantage. It was also pointed out to me that the different values which existed between our two cultures have contributed to this 'misunderstanding'.

I was boiling inside, but Peter managed to calm me down. I could not see for the life of me, what they were talking about. Had I gone crazy? Was I still in the church, or in some secular organisation which had different values?

Then Chris was also told that he did wrong. So we were both wrong, and under God's forgiveness we should now shake hands and forget the whole incident. We shook hands, but thereafter I handed in my resignation as treasurer. The church leaders were quite unhappy about that. They wanted me to continue keeping a tab on Chris, but I felt this was hypocricy, a double standard, and I couldn't continue as treasurer. Someone else had to be found.

It took me a long time to get over this episode, and longer still to be able to reflect on it and learn from it. It is very hard for us westerners to put ourselves into the skin of an Asian. To recognise and to appreciate an old culture and tradition really means to be able to think and feel like one of them. This episode, more than any other, perhaps because it caused me so much anguish and heart ache, was like another conversion experience. It taught me to be far more sensitive to people, particularly if their economic basis was so different from mine, and to avoid paternalism at any cost, as it is so hurtful.

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The effect of years of paternalism by the foreign mission boards had been paralysing. It suddenly dawned on me that GMIT's attitude towards aid was really due to our insensitivity over all those years. Our church in Australia had always been telling GMIT what they were to do with funds sent from Australia. It may have been done in consultation, but the

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