The rainbow never sets

Annemarie's husband had been killed during the War. She, Vater's secretary Mally, and I decided in spring to start a literary circle, to read classical and modern plays in parts. We invited Heinz Wenske, who also worked on the farm, and met Saturday nights in Annemarie's home. At that time I had longed for company other than my family, and this reading circle fulfilled this need. Apart from stimulating discussions we had adult talks, which I enjoyed very much.

From some of my friends I heard that dancing classes were going to start in Halberstadt towards the middle of 1946. As they were to be in the evening it meant that I had either to stay back after school, or come back for the classes. I joined and tried out both, but neither was very successful. Vater came several times to pick me up by horse coach, which of course was real luxury.

Dancing classes were a typical teenage occasion in those days. Boys were seated on one side of the hall, girls on the other. When the music started playing, the boys would rush across and choose a partner. I picked up dancing fairly easily, but my partners would often be rather slow and heavy to move around. The final ball was set for Tuesday, 29 October 1946. I had to ask a girl to be my partner for the evening. As I tended to be rather slow with such things, I had left it too late to get a girl who could dance well. Instead, I had to take whoever was left. I can't say that I had been looking forward to the ball. But as Vater and Mutter both wanted to be present I got driven both ways that night at least.

During the ball some appropriate poems were read about everyone who had taken dancing lessons. The poem for me was:

Confession of a Noble Soul

I am young, but sins there are a plenty. They burden me as heavy as lead.

I may strive earnestly to do good, but I might as well be dead.

So now with courage I confess and hope that through it I'll feel freed.

The first one here on my note: I was cool to a good girl.

I didn't consider her hearts deepest feelings, and didn't escort her home after a party.

I let her standing amidst the crowd, and drove off by coach in a cloud. Even at a ball I was not nice to her, and took no notice of her all night. But my conscience tells me: Dieter, don't ever do that again.

To my surprise, the ball did not turn out a total fiasco. On that night I

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