Refugee in search of a homeland

always interfering," followed by a flood of unrepeatable swear words, as his cart was disappearing behind me.

I was totally taken by surprise. I had no idea why he had whipped me. I felt degraded, being whipped like a school boy or rather like an animal. All that hatred that must have been stored inside him, suddenly welling up in this manner! I was outraged. With tears in my eyes I headed home, determined to quit. I could take no more. I left the bullocks standing in the yard, harnessed to the cart, and went as I was, straight to Onkel Werner and Tante Margaret, still in a rage. "I can understand that you are very upset, but please calm down, so that we can discuss this rationally," was Onkel Werner's advice.

"There is no way I can stay at Hoffmeister's any longer. I'm going to leave the farm. I've had enough."

Onkel Werner and Tante Margaret were patiently listening. "I feel totally frustrated. Slaving there for long hours and hard work for a pittance, the constant bickering from Kothe, I just can't cope any longer!"

"Time will heal, Dieter. Give it time." "What do you mean?"

"At the moment you are terribly upset, and you see things only in your emotional state. To act according to your present state of mind would probably not be in your own interest. So wait a while until your rage has subsided, and think about it then. You may feel differently about it later."

"I don't think that time is going to make any difference." Of course I was too upset to make a rational decision, and I am forever grateful to Onkel Werner that he had helped me to see it. A couple of weeks later I was to remember his words and I recognised their wisdom.

It was my first major crisis, and it was important that I should work through it and learn from it. Onkel Werner and Tante Margaret helped me by patiently listening to my feelings, and by showing concern and understanding. It was good to have had them close by. I don't know what I would have done at that moment without them. Gradually I did calm down and they persuaded me to go back and have a talk with Herrn Hoffmeister.

It was well after dark by the time I arrived back. I knew by then all the work would have been done, and Herr Hoffmeister would be sitting in the lounge doing his clerical work as the village mayor. Frau Hoffmeister was also there, but as soon as she saw me entering the room she disappeared.

"The old Kothe bastard whipped me on the road out there, and I hadn't done anything to provoke him. I feel degraded, and I don't want to have anything to do with him any more," I blurted out, feeling all the pent-up anger coming back again.

"Na, na, that's not the way to speak. Just calm down first. You seem terribly upset. Kothe told me that you had fed his horses this morning, is that true?"

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